So, a really good friend of mine today told me that girls should be modest, and he’s sad that they aren’t. He said that most are at about a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10 which was a pretty bad score in his opinion and so, like they say, curiosity killed the cat and I had to ask where I was on the scale. I consider myself a pretty modest person. I don’t wear short shorts, I don’t wear skinny jeans, I wear modest swim suits and I don’t wear wear low cut shirts or tight clothes in general. So, I asked, and he told me that I was about a 7. A 7! Well, that was my first reaction, then I Started wondering why. His main thing was that my skirts sometimes came above my knee and there was a risk of them blowing in the wind. Now… yes, my skirts have a chance of blowing in the wind, but so do long ones. The only type of skirt that doesn’t have the chance of that is a long pencil skirt. which… I actually don’t own any of. So, I was hurt to be honest, cause I thought I’d at least be a 8.5 if not a 9. I mean, looking at that in grade wise, a 7 is a C-. That’s failing by most standards. So, yes, maybe this guy didn’t really know what he was talking about, but maybe he has a point. What made him say a 7, when I thought I was around a 9. What’s the difference here? What does he see that I don’t? I think as ladies this is a good question. What do men see that we don’t. The last thing we want is to be looked at as an object so we should be more concerned as to how we can keep that from happening.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should all wear frumpy ugly clothes. I hate the frump as much as the next girl, but what’s really necessary? When we dress a certain way, we’re inviting those around us to look at us in the way we present ourselves. If we dress like we don’t care, then guys are going to look at us like we don’t care. If you dress like football player, people are going to assume you play football. So, if you dress like a slut, people will assume you act like one, and then you’ll find yourself being bombarded by rude comments and rude men who treat you badly. If you don’t want to be treated badly, then don’t ask people to.
Modesty isn’t only in how we dress though. It is just as important in how we talk and how we hold ourselves. You can wear long skirts, but still do things that cause me to more easily think bad things or subconsciously treat you differently. I’m not excusing the men, they should be men, but how can we expect them to act appropriately if we can’t act that way ourselves. Maybe you think you should be able to wear what you want, but if you don’t want people looking at your body, then don’t show it for heaven’s sake. You’re only setting yourself on a huge vicious cycle of oxymorons.
Looking at the way we talk is also a huge part in trying to figure out if we’re truly modest. Now, no girl truly wants a guy to tell dirty jokes. Most of them are gross and make you selfconcious, so, if we don’t want him to tell jokes like that, then we shouldn’t give him permission by talking dirty ourselves. Bad language is often sexual and gives you a bad girl look, so, like 1 + 1= 2, f you don’t want to be a bad girl, don’t talk like one. Majority of the time, guys only talk like that to impress the girls in how masculine they are, but if the girls aren’t impressed, the guys will simply have to find another way. It’s simple mathematics.
As Ladies, we need to be aware of how we present ourselves in general. I’m pretty sure every girl is guilty of wanting to impress guys. That’s good, and totally normal, but don’t be something that’s undesirable to find a guy. in the end you’ll realize that the relationships you find by that are much more undesirable than being, heaven forbid, single. But think about it, when you’re 30 and you have kids, do you want them cursing up a storm, dressing half naked to go to parties, and talking dirty? It’d be sad, I think, for any mother to see her daughter grow up like that. And do you really want you boys to talk dirty and treat women badly? If not then don’t foster that in yourself, because your children will copy you whether they realize it or not.
It’s just something to think about. How would your guys friend rate you on the scale? And looking at that rating, where do you think you fall down in the modesty scale? I’m not saying that guys can fully judge this because they can’t, but it’s something to keep in mind, because modesty is an important thing in today’s society if we want to find a good man, and be treated right.
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